I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
