Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
