Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
