Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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