3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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