ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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