I cockslap morals
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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