Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
