It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
