ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
