i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
