i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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