like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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