I heard we made out
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
