john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
