I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
