Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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