You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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