Did we literally take a cab across the street
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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