There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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