she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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