marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
