he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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