he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
