She said her name was "party"
I faked an abortion last night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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