Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Text me some of your sweat
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