Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
we're so committed to being not committed
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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