Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
