I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
