Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
