It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
