I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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