I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
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I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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