Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
