I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
