WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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