My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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