Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we're making bets on your personal life
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
