I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
