party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He? As in you personified your dick?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.