so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
