Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.