before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
