i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
