the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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