I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
