I like to think it a success when the cops are called
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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