I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Umm I'm too high to move.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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