hell yes lets make some ravioli
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
