Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
