There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
