my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How external is "for external use only"?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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