I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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