You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The Olympian is in my bed
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
