You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
