i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
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I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
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I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize