I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
